How I Learned to Love Myself

Happy Monday Steezers! We’re just one week from Valentines Day, and I wanted to share with you all one of the most important things I learned to do in life, and that was to love myself! 

For as long as I could remember, from grade school on up to high school, I was always called the “ugly duckling.” I was always the darker skinned black girl with coarse (nappy) hair and a crooked smile. It didn’t make it any better that allergies caused eczema and dark raccoon looking circles around my eyes.  I remember being told that, I wasn’t “as pretty” as the other little girls at school or, from my mother’s perspective, her little “ugly duckling.”  

As I became older in my teenage years, I hid behind permed or straightened hair because I felt that it made me look “more beautiful.” People didn’t tease me anymore, because I was always on defense mode. I wore tighter uniforms so that teenage boys could see the curves that weren’t there in my prepubescent years, and I found myself bullying, fighting or teasing others for acceptance or to make me feel better. 

It wasn’t until I was 18 that I noticed the detriment. For a little black girl growing up in the south, self hate was like my birthright. I guess you can say that at 18, I started my journey of consciousness or that I just “woke” up. I realized that my insecurities lied in my permed hair, so I chopped it off. By this time, the eczema had gone away, but the racoon eyes were still there-still here today. I learned to embrace them along with my crooked smile. I had to literally rid myself of all thoughts or people who saw me as ugly. It was then that I realized that as long as I loved and accepted myself, others negative opinions of me didn’t matter. 

Now, at 25, I’m more confident that I have ever been! The journey to self discovery and self love was a long but rewarding one that I was willing to take. I think realizing that people will talk about you even if you were a nun, helped me to let go of the need to be accepted so bad, and I learned to just rock to the beat of my own drums! Loving the shit out of my naturally nappy hair, smiling the hugest crooked smile that you ever did see and creating/revamping my bomb ass style along the way! 

It took me 18 years to transform from an “ugly duckling” into a beautiful swan! Not because others saw me as such, but because I had to notice my beauty from within and then learn to adore/cherish my exterior. 

I hope that you found a confidence boost in this, and that your journey is as fulfilling as mines was! Leave a comment letting me know your thoughts, like and share!

Until next time,


Talk to Me!